Living

What is living?! Is it simply breathing? Or is it more than that? Sometimes I think I'm living then other times I think I'm not. I mean lets take today for instance. I went into uni for an hour to culture cells. Then I went back to bed, not getting up until 1pm. Then watched a movie and ate pancakes. Am now on the internet doing nothing much of anything. Tonight I'm catching up with a friend and going to an outdoor cinema to watch another movie. Is that living?! Or do the days like today just make the days when you do more 'lively' things make you feel like you're living?

When I spent a year in the Netherlands, I don't really recall doing much 'living' in the sense that I did amazing and exciting things often. But then again I did go travelling, saw places, and experienced life. Is that what living's about? Is it simply just experiencing things? Am I looking at 'living' in a totally wrong perspective? Maybe living is just surviving each day and getting to the next.

From a Christian perspective, to live is Christ (Philippians 1:21), which spurs me on to live a life for him and in him. That means that nothing I do in Christ should be boring and 'not living'. But not everything in life can be exciting. Some things are just simple, and there's nothing wrong with simple, but I want more. I want the exciting life. I want to experience life and all it has to offer. I want to explore God's world and the people he has put in it. I want to live...

Where is my head...?

I never miss things. Important things like class at uni, or meetings at work. So why am I now?! Maybe I have too many things going on, and I just can't seem to keep them all in check? I doubt it. There's so many times that I'm just at home doing nothing...like now. And I love being busy. Sitting at home by myself seems like a waste of time sometimes. But then again at times it's great to just be there and watch a movie or something...

Anyway, I hope that I can keep my head screwed on, cause I've got a MASSIVE year ahead of me. Honours has been going for a month, and it only now seems like it's starting up. The Christian group at uni (ES) is also starting up now, and that brings a whole new lot of things onto my plate. But that's not a bad thing. I sound like I'm complaining, but really I'm not. I love all of the things that I'm doing and really enjoy them. And I love being busy, because when I'm not, I go crazy. It's just sometimes it's overwhelming. I don't know how I'd do everything without the peace and sense of purpose that God has given me. I mean I know that what I'm doing is His plan for my life, and even though I don't know where my life is heading, I know that this year I'm doing those things which He wants me to do...except maybe my job. But that's another story. People think that I spend so much time doing ES stuff, and that I do so much, but how can I not?! ES is helping encourage people in their faith. It's sharing the gospel with those who don't know it, or believe it (although I don't think I do much of this). What can be more important than those things?! I'd spend all my time doing that if I could, and maybe one day that's what I'll be doing. But for now it's not. And sometimes I think that my studies are actually taking away from the time I can spend sharing and learning about the gospel and God, but without them I wouldn't be here and I wouldn't have the opportunities that I have.

I'm not really sure where this entry is heading, or even if it's heading somewhere. I'm just writing and things are coming out. I think that's a good thing about having a blog...you can write and see what you're really thinking. There's something so satisfying about not having to plan what you're going to write and not really thinking about how it sounds. It makes it more real. I can't wait to come back to this and see what I've written and see how I was feeling at the time...