What's on your mind?

Some times I wonder what's on my mind. Quite a lot of the time I wonder if there's really anything at all on my mind. What is it that I think about in the quiet times, reflection times, thoughtful times. Thinking about it (pun not really intended) I'm not really sure that I have 'quiet times'. My life is so busy with so many things in it that I just don't sit down and think. I don't contemplate the day, I don't meditate on God's word, I don't think about things. I'm not saying that I never think and everything that I do is purely by chance. I think about relationships, what I'm going to be doing in the next few days etc. I just don't think that I think enough about the things that really matter. I want to be someone who thinks about life, who thinks about God and how His love, mercy and grace affect my life and the lives of those around me. When I have 'free time' I seem to spend it on the computer mindlessly on facebook or checking emails. Alternatively I watch movies/tv shows which makes me think about things in an escaped reality.

Can I really change that? Can I really become someone who thinks more? Maybe with my new job it'll give me the chance to focus on God's word and how it relates to University students. Maybe it will give me the chance to think about how it relates to me and my life. That's something to think about. What do you think about?

Changes

wow. it's been a while. Clearly I've been caught up in my life and have not bothered to write down any thoughts. So I thought when's better than now? Having finished uni I'm thinking about all the changes that are happening to my life and the lives of those around me. The change that's really getting to me is the change that's happening in other people's lives. Good friends are moving away for work and becoming respectable people, like teachers. Friends are getting full-time jobs and are no longer going to be so flexible with their time. I'm finding it hard to say good-bye to people and not knowing when I'll see them again. I should be used to this kind of thing, but I'm just not.

I guess I too am going to have a job this year. Hopefully it will be one job full-time and I'm looking forward to it, but it stills seems so far off. Plans are coming together and are being made, but there's still so much uncertainty. I guess that's why it doesn't seem that real. I think there's some part of me that just doesn't think that I'll ever get a job, especially one that I want. But I know that it's up to God and I know that He will be working in my life to give me the job He wants, and seriously, what more can I ask for?

At church today I was reminded of what the cost of following Jesus is, as well as the cost of NOT following Him. I'm so lucky to be a follower of Jesus, yet sometimes I think about what this means for me and think 'am I really living this out in my life?'. I guess leaving my life in its entirety, meaning my relationships, career, finances and time, in God's hands is following Him and letting Him be the one in control of my life.