Memory Lane

The brain is an amazing part of the body. It does so many things that fascinate me. One of these things is what I want to write about today. The way that the brain stores memories is something that I don't know much about. I think there's special sections for long-term and short-term memories, which, when affected, leads to things like Dementia. I think that's about all I know.

But I don't really want to write about the biology of memories, but rather how they come back to you. There's so much that we put into our brains on a day to day basis, that it's crazy to think that anything actually sticks. All the information about what we're seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, touching all goes into our brains and is processed. You won't remember everything that you do/say, but chances are you'll remember a great deal of it. Yet that's only short-term stuff. What about the long-term things? How is it that we can remember exactly how we felt at our Nanna's funeral, or just what we said on that holiday we took with high school friends to Queenscliff? I don't have a good memory at the best of times, yet these feelings, words and images come streaming back when triggered.

Many different things trigger those memories, including sounds, smells, words, photos or thinking about a person/place. I'm sure there's more things. It makes me think of a great big filing system in your brain that's constantly being looked through as the day goes by. Your brain cross checking each thing that happens to see if it's like something that's happened before.

There's two other things regarding memory that I briefly want to mention. The first is the differences between people's memories. I don't mean the different abilities to remember things, but rather that different people can remember different things about the same situation. For example a picnic. One person remembers the fight with the wasp that happened which ended up with them catching the wasp in their cup. The other person remembers the food that was there and the reason for the picnic. (In this senario I'm assuming the picnic was sometime in the past). I guess this has to do with people's personalities and the things that they find important in the first place.

The second thing I wanted to mention is something that always amazes me. With the vast amount of music/songs that have been recorded and produced over the years, people have a pretty good ability to recall song lyrics. Start up a song you haven't heard for years and soon you're crooning along with the right words. Somewhere in your brains there must be a separate section just for song lyrics...

How time flies

So I see it's been a month since my last post...so much for trying weekly. But I'm here now, so lets have ourselves a conversation (albeit it being onesided) about time. I know I've already talked about time in one of my earlier posts, but it seems to be an interesting thing to me. Due to that, I'll keep writing about it...

Time has to be one of the strangest concepts in history. It's measured out in defined incrimets (such as seconds, hours, days, years), yet at different times these incriments seem different. Let me try to explain. 1 minute has a defined time- 60 seconds. Every time you measure 1 minute it will be exactly the same amount of time (unless there's something wrong with your clock). That said, each time you measure 1 minute, it doesn't always feel the same. Sometimes 1 minute seems like a lifetime, whilst other times it flies by. I find that the feeling of time depends on the circumstances that you find yourself in. For instance, 1 minute will feel longer when you have to wait for the bus than it will when you are rushing to catch the bus. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?

The next layer on top of this gets even stranger. It's the feeling of those longer periods of time. Have you ever felt that the same amount of time feels like just yesterday and yet a lifetime ago at the same time? When I think about my time in the Netherlands, it's like that. When I think about the exact memories that I have and the experiences I had while I was there, it seems like I was there only yesterday. Yet when I think about all that has happened in the 6 years between when I was there and now, it feels like 2 lifetimes ago. Yet this period of time I'm talking about is the same. It's been 6 years since I was there and it feels like both a short and a long amount of time ago.

I think this is all extremely interesting and complex. Please let me know your thoughts...

 

Why I do what I do

Most of you will already know that I'm doing something called a 'Ministry Apprenticeship'. This is really 2 years of looking at ministry to see what it's like and to get some hands on experience. I'm doing my apprenticeship at a university, working mostly with Christian uni students aged anywhere between 17 and 50! I've done 1 year of these 2 years, meaning that I'm half way, and ready to reflect on why I love what I do so much.

Sometimes when you're working it's so easy to get bogged down in the 'doing' and to not really think about the motivations or reasons behind what you're doing (both short- and long-term). Last night I was reminded yet again about the benefits and joys of uni ministry. Some of the 'older' students where on a panel being asked questions by a crowd of enthusiastic students who were mostly new to the group. One of these questions was 'what's the best thing about the group'. I thought the responses where enlightening and very exciting! Behind the gist of the answers were two main ideas. The first was about the community of the group. Being in a group with fellow Christians is a great privilge and the unity that is felt from having such an important part of our lives (that is Christ) in common is amazing. The second idea was about the personal spiritual growth that has occured due to the teaching and training within the group. This last one is very special to me, because it's also the story of my involvement in the group when I was a student.

University is a time when young people are given freedom (especially if you've moved out of home to go to uni) and for many this is their first taste. It allows you to test your boundaries and work out who you are and make your own decisions about what to do with your life. All this freedom can sometimes get a bit much. That was the case with me. It was through the teaching within the group at uni that I was able to put some perspective back into my life and to grow in my knowledge and love of Jesus.

I love hearing about people who are on a journey of continued discovery and growth in Jesus. The best part of my job is being able to walk with them through that and to be a signpost pointing to Jesus and to God. Being able to open God's word with people and to discuss it, be challenged by it, and see it transforming people's lives is such a blessing. Are you experiencing this transformation in your life? Are you seeing God working in the lives of people around you? Be on the look out for these things and tell people about them, because that's one way of testifying to God and His powerful work in the world. And lastly, tell me (as I said, I love hearing about people's journeys of growth)!

Valentine's Day

So I started this blog over a week ago, and never got back to it...now's the time...


I'm sure there's millions of people out there posting on their blogs about today. Unfortunately I'm going to join them...

So in case you don't celebrate this one wherever you're from, today is Valentine's Day. A day when people celebrate love. It's been hijacked by couples trying to out-do each other in showing their love for each other with gifts, flowers, cards and romantic guestures. But is that really love? Spending some money to get the thing that your loved one really wants isn't love. Spending time with someone on a day that you've been told you have to spend with them isn't love. While these things, and many more that I haven't mentioned, may be nice, they aren't love. So what it love?

Dictionary.com (amazing source I know!) defines love in 4 ways:

1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

3. sexual passion or desire.

4. a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.

None of these definitions really satisfies me. They're all about emotion and feelings. That's what most people think love is...a feeling. But love is so much more than that. Have you ever heard the saying you can still love someone even if you don't like them? Love isn't about how you're feeling at any particular time. It's about your motivation. If you really love someone, you'll sacrifice yourself for their good. You'll do things that benefit them at the expense of your own gratification and feelings.


With that lofty idea of love, is there anywhere that love can ever match up to it? There is one. God. Romans 5:8 says 'But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Sinners refers to our rebellion against God, our opposition of His rightful place as Lord in our lives. When we do this, we are pitting ourselves against God. I'm pretty sure God doesn't have emotional 'feelings' of love towards us at that time. Despite how God is 'feeling', He sent His own Son to die because of His LOVE for us. His motivation behind this sacrifice is love. God sacrificed His only Son, that He could show us His love for us. Is there any greater gesture of love in this world? 

Time vs Technology

Something I've been thinking about a lot lately is technology. We're so dependent on it, sometimes I wish it was different. We use it for pretty much everything, and that's getting more and more every year. We use it for work, education, entertainment, communication, time fillers etc. We run our lives using technology (in the western world). I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't like it. We created technology to help us save time, but in reality we spend more and more time using it, that time is taken rather than saved. I'm not saying that all technology is terrible and should be destroyed, it's just that sometimes I wish we could live without it.

Some of you may be thinking 'well, without technology you wouldn't even be writing this blog and airing your views like this', and that's true. But lately I find that I'm lost without technology and I fill my time with it. When I'm bored, or don't have anything to do for the day, all of that time is spend with technology. Watching TV (either on the TV or the computer), on the internet, on my phone. I try to imagine all the things I could get done if I spent less time with technology, but then when I turn off my computer I can't think of anything to do. It's like I have withdrawl from technology and without it I'm bored.

Filling our time with things is what we tend to do though. We fill our lives/time with technology, work, entertainment etc and we don't really focus on what's important in life. How much time do you spend with family and friends? and I mean quality time. How much time do you spend with God? I think this is the thing that annoys me so much about technology. It creates a barrier and a distraction in our relationships. Our relationships with each other and with God. It's much easier to watch a movie than it is to spend time talking and listening to God. I need to learn to take the time for God. To fill my life with Him, rather than with technology...who's with me?

Consolidation

Although this blog is brand new today, I've decided to cut down the amount of blogs I've started over the last 3 years and put them into one. This means all the old posts from the other blogs are now on here. This isn't as many posts as you would think. Over 3 years I've barely written more than 20 posts. So again I'm going to try and see if I can make this blog thing work.

My aim is to write weekly and my motivation is to become someone who reflects on things more than I already do. I'm what you would call a 'doer'. I do things. I plan, organise, spend time with people, read books, etc. I don't just sit and think. It bores me. I remember having a conversation with one of my previous housemates about what I think about. She has words that pop into her head and she thinks about them. I don't have anything. I'm not saying I'm an airhead and that I don't think, it's just that there never really seems to be things that 'pop' into my head. I usually think when I talk to people, so I usually talk a fair bit. I want to be someone who contemplates life, who thinks about what's going on around her, rather than just watches the world go by. Hopefully this blog will help me. If I make myself sit down and write something, anything, then maybe I'll learn to think about things more, and without needing to be talking to someone.

Hopefully i'll think about a whole range of things, and you're more than welcome to come along for the ride.

Waiting

Waiting....it's not fun. Yet there's so much to be waiting for. Your friend to meet you at the cafe for coffee, someone to pick you up and drive you to an event, money to transfer through the bank, love, pay day, a chance to travel and the birth of a child, just to give you a few examples. Sometimes it's hard to wait for these things, especially if they're the 'bigger' or more long-term things in life. We can get fixated on these things and wonder if they're ever going to happen. I wonder if by now some of the things I'm waiting for have happened to you.



Despite all of the things that we wait for, there is in life ultimately one thing worth waiting for that's much bigger and much more important than all these things put together. That's the return of Jesus Christ our Saviour and King. One day He will return to this earth. For those who trust in Him there will be joy and deliverance from the punishment we deserve, but for those who don't trust in Him, there will be sadness and the punishment we deserve. Although this is a foreign concept to many people, I hope that this is something that you still know. Whenever you are waiting for something to happen, remember this and fix your eyes on Him who is to come.

Dreaming of travel

My brother and his partner are heading overseas in April to explore the wonders of Europe. I'm so happy that they have this chance to go and see a part of the world that neither of them have seen before, but at the same time I'm totally jealous. Since spending a year in the Netherlands in 2006, then heading to West Timor in Dec 2007 for a 2 week mission exposure trip, I've been hit with the travel bug. Unfortunately I haven't been anywhere since West Timor, meaning I haven't been anywhere in over 3 years. That may not seem like a long time to many people, especially those who are not inclined to travel, but for me, it's a lifetime. I'm not saying that I want to leave everything that I'm doing here in Adelaide, because I believe that this is the place that God wants me to be and I'm doing the things that I believe God wants me to do. The thing is that I keep dreaming about heading overseas and I just can't seem to get there.

Now I've started a job which I'm locked into for 2 years, with no chance of overseas travel. I'm hoping that in this time I can have some holidays around Australia and see a bit more of this beautiful country. I'm excited about that, but it's just not the same. There are so many places around the world that I want to go to, and so many things I want to see. At the moment though, I guess I'll just have to keep dreaming and maybe even start planning some travels for 2013...

What to do with a life

ok so I was thinking today. Big step I know, especially since I've been sick for a week. Anyway, I was thinking about all the things that I would like to do with my time and the things I would like to change. I've realised that I have no idea what I do with my time and that I need to use it more efficiently. The question is, what do I do with this time? There seems to be many things to do, but what is really of any benefit? I see people with neat houses and the dishes always done and think 'I should really spend more time doing housework, so that I'm not living in a dump'. Then I see people who are really great at making time for other people and really investing in their lives and i think 'I should really spend more time investing in relationships with other people'. Then I go to people's places and they've prepared an awesome, healthy meal and I think 'I should really cook more and eat healthier'. Then I hear about people who are so well read that I can't imagine having read that many books and think' I should really spend more time reading, especially books with meaning'. Then I see people who haven't got weight issues and think 'I really should exercise more if I want to loose some weight'.

The though occured to me today that it's really not at all possible to do everything, so what is it that we should be focusing on? Is it possible to do a little bit more of each of these good pursuits? Is that even a realistic option? And then there's the question of what things I would rather be doing? I would take catching up with a friend over the dishes any day, but those things still need doing. Also, what do I spend my time on, if not the things that I want to be better at/have more time for. Sometimes I just feel as if my head is going to explode with all of the issues and ideas that are going around in it. That's why I procrastinate so much and end up doing nothing, or things that really don't matter, such as writing this blog...

What's on your mind?

Some times I wonder what's on my mind. Quite a lot of the time I wonder if there's really anything at all on my mind. What is it that I think about in the quiet times, reflection times, thoughtful times. Thinking about it (pun not really intended) I'm not really sure that I have 'quiet times'. My life is so busy with so many things in it that I just don't sit down and think. I don't contemplate the day, I don't meditate on God's word, I don't think about things. I'm not saying that I never think and everything that I do is purely by chance. I think about relationships, what I'm going to be doing in the next few days etc. I just don't think that I think enough about the things that really matter. I want to be someone who thinks about life, who thinks about God and how His love, mercy and grace affect my life and the lives of those around me. When I have 'free time' I seem to spend it on the computer mindlessly on facebook or checking emails. Alternatively I watch movies/tv shows which makes me think about things in an escaped reality.

Can I really change that? Can I really become someone who thinks more? Maybe with my new job it'll give me the chance to focus on God's word and how it relates to University students. Maybe it will give me the chance to think about how it relates to me and my life. That's something to think about. What do you think about?

Changes

wow. it's been a while. Clearly I've been caught up in my life and have not bothered to write down any thoughts. So I thought when's better than now? Having finished uni I'm thinking about all the changes that are happening to my life and the lives of those around me. The change that's really getting to me is the change that's happening in other people's lives. Good friends are moving away for work and becoming respectable people, like teachers. Friends are getting full-time jobs and are no longer going to be so flexible with their time. I'm finding it hard to say good-bye to people and not knowing when I'll see them again. I should be used to this kind of thing, but I'm just not.

I guess I too am going to have a job this year. Hopefully it will be one job full-time and I'm looking forward to it, but it stills seems so far off. Plans are coming together and are being made, but there's still so much uncertainty. I guess that's why it doesn't seem that real. I think there's some part of me that just doesn't think that I'll ever get a job, especially one that I want. But I know that it's up to God and I know that He will be working in my life to give me the job He wants, and seriously, what more can I ask for?

At church today I was reminded of what the cost of following Jesus is, as well as the cost of NOT following Him. I'm so lucky to be a follower of Jesus, yet sometimes I think about what this means for me and think 'am I really living this out in my life?'. I guess leaving my life in its entirety, meaning my relationships, career, finances and time, in God's hands is following Him and letting Him be the one in control of my life.

Oh the freedom

Have you ever felt the freedom that you get when you hand in an assignment? Especially an assignment that was really hard to write or just felt like it took forever to write? Well that's me right now. The whole focus of my study in the last couple of weeks has been this literature review, and now it's over. I feel great, but also a tad lost. Having had that as the centre of what I do for so long and now not having it...it's kind of strange. I'm sure that things will pick up soon enough, and before I know it, I'll again have more than I can handle.

So the next question is what to do next. Well today I'm not doing anything else. I'm leaving the lab soon and there's not much point starting something for a very short time. So basically that's why I'm writting this. I haven't written anything for a while, so I thought I would...although there's not really any point, seeing as though no-one actually reads this. In a way that's a good thing. It's like a special diary just for me. You may then ask, what's the point of doing it here and not actually in a diary? My answer to that is no answer at all. I don't know. Maybe I think that if I write this where others CAN read it, then it's like I'm writing this for you. Even though there is no you reading this. I could get a diary and pretend it's a person and give it a name, but I think I'm a bit old for that. In fact I'm probably a bit old for this too. Wow...that makes me sound old...I'm not really, I swear!

Anyway, just some thoughts that are going through my pre-assignment scattered brain. Hope you (if 'you' even exist) enjoy reading this! If not, I'm sure I'll enjoy reading over it in a while and wondering what was going on in my head...

Living

What is living?! Is it simply breathing? Or is it more than that? Sometimes I think I'm living then other times I think I'm not. I mean lets take today for instance. I went into uni for an hour to culture cells. Then I went back to bed, not getting up until 1pm. Then watched a movie and ate pancakes. Am now on the internet doing nothing much of anything. Tonight I'm catching up with a friend and going to an outdoor cinema to watch another movie. Is that living?! Or do the days like today just make the days when you do more 'lively' things make you feel like you're living?

When I spent a year in the Netherlands, I don't really recall doing much 'living' in the sense that I did amazing and exciting things often. But then again I did go travelling, saw places, and experienced life. Is that what living's about? Is it simply just experiencing things? Am I looking at 'living' in a totally wrong perspective? Maybe living is just surviving each day and getting to the next.

From a Christian perspective, to live is Christ (Philippians 1:21), which spurs me on to live a life for him and in him. That means that nothing I do in Christ should be boring and 'not living'. But not everything in life can be exciting. Some things are just simple, and there's nothing wrong with simple, but I want more. I want the exciting life. I want to experience life and all it has to offer. I want to explore God's world and the people he has put in it. I want to live...

Where is my head...?

I never miss things. Important things like class at uni, or meetings at work. So why am I now?! Maybe I have too many things going on, and I just can't seem to keep them all in check? I doubt it. There's so many times that I'm just at home doing nothing...like now. And I love being busy. Sitting at home by myself seems like a waste of time sometimes. But then again at times it's great to just be there and watch a movie or something...

Anyway, I hope that I can keep my head screwed on, cause I've got a MASSIVE year ahead of me. Honours has been going for a month, and it only now seems like it's starting up. The Christian group at uni (ES) is also starting up now, and that brings a whole new lot of things onto my plate. But that's not a bad thing. I sound like I'm complaining, but really I'm not. I love all of the things that I'm doing and really enjoy them. And I love being busy, because when I'm not, I go crazy. It's just sometimes it's overwhelming. I don't know how I'd do everything without the peace and sense of purpose that God has given me. I mean I know that what I'm doing is His plan for my life, and even though I don't know where my life is heading, I know that this year I'm doing those things which He wants me to do...except maybe my job. But that's another story. People think that I spend so much time doing ES stuff, and that I do so much, but how can I not?! ES is helping encourage people in their faith. It's sharing the gospel with those who don't know it, or believe it (although I don't think I do much of this). What can be more important than those things?! I'd spend all my time doing that if I could, and maybe one day that's what I'll be doing. But for now it's not. And sometimes I think that my studies are actually taking away from the time I can spend sharing and learning about the gospel and God, but without them I wouldn't be here and I wouldn't have the opportunities that I have.

I'm not really sure where this entry is heading, or even if it's heading somewhere. I'm just writing and things are coming out. I think that's a good thing about having a blog...you can write and see what you're really thinking. There's something so satisfying about not having to plan what you're going to write and not really thinking about how it sounds. It makes it more real. I can't wait to come back to this and see what I've written and see how I was feeling at the time...

Starting a blog

So this is my first post. I've tried this kind of thing before, but it was more of a travel blog and it didn't work so well. I'm trying to think about why I am doing this, and I'm going to put it down to my mood. I'm in one of those moods where I'm thoughtful in a different way than usual. Normally I have 2 main ways of thinking. The first is in an organisational way, so thinking about what I need to do and how to do it. The other way is day-dreaming, which really doesn't help anything and is a waste of time. So this weird thinking that I sometimes have is quite different. I get more philisophical and start thinking about things that I don't usually, yet are things that I really should think about. I also start thinking in a round-about way, and a lot of the time I hardly make sense to myself. So if this post is a little strange and incomprehesible to you, I'll put that down to my mood as well.

Interestingly enough, this isn't really how I wanted to spend my first post of my new blog, yet I don't really know how I want to! I feel like it needs to be important and profound, but nothing's really coming to mind. Seeing as though it's nearly the end of the year, I could write something about the year that was, but I think I'll save that for another post, which will actually leave me something to write about on here. Maybe this is just a preparatory post. One that makes me think about what I want to achieve with this blog and what kind of things I want to write about. Does one need to have a purpose and an aim when starting a blog? Does there need to be an intention? Maybe if I have one, there will be more insentive to write more often. But if I limit this blog for a specific intent, then there's a chance that I won't want to continually write about the same old thing over and over.

Having a think about what I've already written, a thought came to mind. The other day one of my friends said that they thought I was a 'closed book', which I thought was completely the opposite. I see myself as a very honest person who shares a lot of herself and her life with those around her. But maybe I do keep some things close. Maybe I do screen some of the things I say and how I say them. I'm not really sure. So I'm thinking. I want this blog to be honest. I want it to show people (whether I know them or not) what I'm thinking and why. I want people to try and understand where I'm coming from and the thoughts behind my thoughts and actions. So I guess that's an aim for this blog, but one that doesn't limit the topics and ideas. I guess we'll see how I go...